Monday, March 16, 2009

The Talk


Yes, I'm talking about THAT talk.


Zack and I already had the 3rd grade version of The Talk a couple of years ago. We had it AGAIN the other night while I was tucking him in to bed. I talked, he asked questions, I answered. I told him that he could always ask me any question, and it would be OK. The conversation got pretty deep. Deeper than I expected.


As we finished up our chat, he seemed a little sad. "Are you OK?" I asked, "What's wrong?"


"Oh nothing," Zack replied, "I just feel different, knowing all this stuff."


So do I, kiddo. So do I.

109 comments:

Savy said...

yes nicole......it's definitely a whole new world for all of us. "cue aladdin music!" :)

Angie said...

Oh boy. I haven't even had to have the 3rd grade version yet! Not really looking forward to that...

Bartman said...

LOL, you posted that you had THE TALK? That is some funny stuff. I'm afraid that my two oldest could tell me more than I want to know.

When we talked about THAT stuff in school, especially during the STD sections, we would quiz each other on "what causes Herpes" etc. Our standard reply would be "Well, when two people love each other very much..." It was a crackup. Well at least at 2am riding a ROCKSTAR six-pack caffeine buzz.

Ali said...

My oh my. We definitely need to have a chat about what was said! I never had the talk so maybe it's about time for me to hear it eh? haha

shel said...

Just wait til they start dating! All kinds of scary experiences await!!

Mace said...

Hi my darling niece! I am reading your blog and catching up on news. Can I just say that you always brighten my day. Your blog is fun to read and always clever. Way to go Nicole!

Love YOU!
Mace

Michelle said...

Ug! After I read your blog I smuggly thought-whew, Im safe from that! Then that evening Noah had a question about what some kids were talking about on the playgoud....I though about you an how open you were so there we were on that same road! Wheres Matt when I need him?????

Jason, Amanda, and Sadie said...

NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Nicole said...

Oh, Michelle - I feel your pain! Good for you though :) It's best to get it out in the open and have them NOT afraid to ask questions. *sigh* They are all growing up TOO fast...

Cheffie-Mom said...

It's wonderful when your children know they can talk to you about anything. My son, Kyle is 15 - time goes by so fast!

Laura Edwards said...

I can't believe it... that's scary. You are a brave woman!

Molly said...

Wow - he's insightful about it.

Ignorance and innocence are bliss!

Aubrey said...

Ah yes. A whole new world. I think it's wonderful how open you are with him and that you have let him know he can talk to you about this!
We have always done the same with our son (soon to be 16). It really does help!

Tanielle said...

WOW! I don't look forward to that one! It makes me sad to think of my kiddos growing up!

Blunt Delivery said...

yea.. he'd probably be better off being scared of girls for the rest of his life.

Mrs. Jelly Belly said...

As much as I was determined to be open and honest on this subject when it came up, I always had a momentary FREEZE when I looked into those innocent little questioning eyes. How could I ruin that by telling them THAT STUFF? LOL

Rachael said...

The other day I found myself telling my 3 year old that he could always tell someone to stop touching him and that no one should touch him in his diaper area who wasn't changing him and a friend like me, his babysitter, daddy or grandma. WTH? It just sort of happened, and I doubt he really understood what the heck I was talking about, but I know that in only a few years I'll be having that talk with my kid!

Lynn said...

That is great. I always think that it's much better that kids get real knowledge about babies and sex and their bodies from home instead of the playground or MTV! This will pay off one day in a big way. Good job mama.

My best, Lynn

Simply AnonyMom said...

That talk terrifies me. I never had "the talk" with my parents. They assumed if it wasn't discussed then noone would know anything about it.

The night before my marriage my mom asked me if I knew how people had sex. I said Yes. SHe said good and that was it. Nothing more was ever said before or after.

Java Cupcake said...

I had THE TALK with my daughter a long time ago. I think the more she knows... the more she'll be educated enough to make good choices on her own. Way to go!!

Have a great SITS day!

cat said...

Oh wow yes, growing up and the talk. I am so not looking forward to it.

Becky said...

Oh, scary. I worry that I will not actually be able to talk to my kids about it, I like to day dream that they never need to know about it until the night before they get married and then their Dad has a quiet word with them. Lol. I know, I am in denial... I have a little while to get over the fear, though as they're only 19 months and 4 months right now..

Melissa said...

I am very impressed! My son is two and I'm ready dreading The Talk!

sandy said...

That's the hardest thing ever!

Astrid said...

Oh no! I wonder when I'll be having The Talk with my girls. I hope it'll be many years from now. Scary stuff! SIGH.

Happy SITS day!

RebeccaMom said...

I had the 3rd grade version of the talk the other day, and I wantedto cry, that's exactly how I feel too!

WildfireBelle said...

Hehehe...great story. We were in the car, negotiating heavy traffic, when my youngest son inserted this beauty into a casual conversation: "So, mom, where DO babies come from?"

Christy said...

Good for you for being so open with him. My daughter is only a wee baby - I can't imagine interactive conversations yet, much less deep talks!

Debbie said...

It's growing up in fast motion, isn't it?

Craftymoose Crafts said...

Ah the loss of childhood innocence--makes a Mom kinda hurt.

Joy said...

I love boys. They can be so succinct.

Live.Love.Eat said...

LOL. Thanks for the giggle so early today. That's precious!

Maggie Sue Designs said...

Yep, I had the talk with my 10 yr old a few months back after he saw something in the newspaper and asked me how two gay women can have a baby. He already knew from 5th grade "family life education" class at school that you need a male's sperm and a female's egg to reproduce.
After my explanation, he gave me a look like "a man puts his WHAT in WHERE?!?" Too gross for him to even believe. I guess we'll revisit the topic later on...

~~Meredith from SITS
http://www.maggiesuedesigns.com

wanrey said...

I think I must be a lot older than most of you ladies as I recall having the initial installment of "the conversation" for the first time around 20 years ago. My parents certainly did not have any of "explaining" conversations with me I recall being absolutely terrified the day I started to menstruate and right now I'm feeling just a little angry that that no one prepared me for how bad and how life altering menopause can be.

Wanrey

Tiffany said...

That reminds me of a story that Corrie Ten Boom tells in the Hiding Place. She asked her father a question about such things and he told her that she wasn't big enough to carry it yet, and that he would carry it for her until she was old enough, just like he would carry her heavy suit case. Oh to be able to carry those things for our kids a bit longer like "the good old days".

Diva Scrapper said...

WOW! 3rd grade and THE TALK, I always thought it started around 5th grade...oh what have I gotten myself into...I've got a few years still, but OH NO!

Cammie said...

Im sooooo glad I have awhile to go before I have to have this talk.....although I know it will be here before I know it.

resplendentlife said...

The Talk...yikes! I just blogged about a similar topic.
Happy SITS Day!!!

Belinda said...

Thank the Lord you as a parent are doing the TALK....I am a director of a crisis Preg. Center. I present The Talk to area schools and to kids parents bring in to me so they don't have to do the TALK....I am very proud of you for doing it. It is the job of a parent.Thank you.

mommytoalot said...

awww i remember those days.
Good to be able to talk to the parents though..

Denise said...

What a wise boy to recognize the end of innocence.

Happy SITS day!

Moi said...

awwww...poor guy!

Jaden Paige said...

I dread the day I have to have THE TALK! lol...
Stopping by from SITS- enjoy your day! :)

Ronnica said...

Aww, childish naivety.

meghanwelch said...

Wow, definately not looking forward to those days.

I love your blog and posts and will be back to follow you! Hope you have a great SITS day!

Mommy said...

Oh bless his heart!

Connie Weiss said...

Awwww....

*off to put my toddler in a bubble so I never have to have the talk*

Shalee- Be Speechless said...

I believe I was in third grade too when my mom and I had the Talk.
But what a mature young man :D

Bunny said...

Aweeeeeeee poor little guy!!! So sweet!!!!

Dianna said...

what a handsome boy!!

Willo said...

Good for you!!! In my pre-mom life I was a sex educator and the number one thing we tried to teach parents was that it was important to have an ongoing conversation with your kids about these things, very openly and honestly. It sounds like that's exactly what you are doing! Great job!

The Daily Blonde said...

Isn't it hard?? I've raised two daughters to adulthood (now 24, 23) and went thru it. So tough to transition between child and pre-adult. Now I have three still at home 13, 10 (boys) and a girl (8). Mr 13 is great at talking about it...he is very open. Mr 10 year old is still so much of a "kid" full of innocence. So hard...I'm a single Mom so I try to be very open but it's HARD no matter what to have THE TALK.

Renee said...

Your photos are great! I am holding my breath about having "The Talk" with my third grader. It's just so hard to bring up!

Brandy said...

It's never fun, but it's nice to have your kids come to you instead of your friends huh?!

The Kooky Queen--Rachel said...

Oh wow! What an awesome mom you are!!!!!!!!!

Cher said...

it changes all of us! Poor kid! i'm glad I have years to go before I have to give the "talk"

Amy said...

Poor guy. My oldest daughter had the talk a while back, now it's almost time for the younger one to get it. I dread the day...

Kate Karyus Quinn said...

Awww, what a bittersweet moment that must have been! Beautiful photos too.

Stereos and Souffles said...

How about that, he feels different just knowing all that stuff. Poor guy.

My New 30 said...

No kidding! Course my "talk" has been awhile back (my son is 28) and wasn't nearly this early an age that I can recall - seems it was more around 12 or so - but my oh my have times changed so much even since then. Kinda sad really... kids don't much get to be kids anymore.

Happy SITS Day!!

Janna Bee said...

Are you saying I am only 5 years away from the talk? SCARY!

Seriously great blog. I'm bookmarking you!

meg said...

Wow. I have a 3rd grader and I don't want to have the talk yet. Not looking forward to that. Not at all.

CDB said...

Oh, I'd be a little sad too. They do grow up too fast, eh?

jubilee said...

I am not looking forward to the talk. I remember feeling odd after the talk with my mom too. And I was twelve.

What A Card said...

Oh my, scary!

Happy SITS day!

BlogBaby said...

Oh NO! Not "The talk". I can't even go there yet...too scary!

Laura said...

Kids are figuring this stuff out at such a young age. It's quite the weight for them to deal with and understand. Good job.

Industrioushead said...

I had the first Talk when my girls were about 2 and 1 years old. We were driving in the car and my 2 year old asked, "Where do babies come from?" So, gave her the short toddler version and ended by saying, "And then you bring them home from the hospital..." There was a long pause and then my daughter says, "Well, can we take HER back to the hospital?"

Procrastinator Crafter said...

Oh I don't look forward to that day!! I would be so sad to know the innocence is gone!!

tammy said...

I have one left that hasn't quite gotten the big talk...it will be soon. (way too soon for me...) It is a little sad when they grow up, isn't it?

Crazy Momma said...

What a cutie pie! I can't blame him for not wanting to know all "that stuff"...some days I wish I didn't know!!

Karol said...

*sigh* I'm definitely not looking forward to that.

Marrdy said...

I feel for you! Just wait until he gets "hair" and tells you!

Shannon said...

Oh, I'm not looking forward to having "the talk" with my girls!

Tiny Tutus said...

Oh Nicole - I'm SOOO not ready for this talk!!

carma said...

that's why I assigned this duty to my husband (taking the easy way out, I know!)

Mandy said...

Awww, why do kids have to grow up? Why? I haven't had to have this talk yet but I'm dreading it.

Kimmy said...

Yep...not looking forward to that talk with my daughter. nope!

Jamie said...

Oh, I'm so not ready for all of this growing up stuff. My oldest is in 2nd grade and came home asking what sex was after her first week of Kindergarten, ugh. Totally caught off guard, totally not expecting that an older kid on the bus would talk about that stuff in front on the little kids (although, by older...I don't mean old enough to know what sex is either). They grow up too fast and I don't like it one bit. Great that you are willing to answer all questions though, they need that!

StampinMom :-)

Alex the Girl said...

Have to say this first..my word verification says: rusexed

Anyway, now that my daughter is 17, it feels like we're having that "talk" at least once a week.

AP said...

oh my so not looking forward to that. ugh!!
happy SITS day!! loved all your posts

Sheryl said...

I just hate seeing them grow up.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

I'm glad I only have 3 kids, 2 to go on the talk lol

itsybitsymama said...

Is this what I have to look forward to in a few years? : )

StacieinAtlanta said...

Awwwww. I am dreading that day!

Pam said...

They grow up so fast don't they? I guess it's hard on them, too.



Congrats on being FB of the day!

Oz Girl said...

They DO grow up too fast... but I'm still glad I don't have to deal with "the talk" any longer! My kid's 27 and married, and thank god he turned our really, really good! ;)

Goldibug said...

Beautiful. You totally captured a very mature moment in such a simple and respectful light. It's crazy to me that I'll be in the same boat in only 9 years. Maybe less with how the world is evolving.

Kristin said...

We are currently in the middle of the talk right now- my 5th grader is having puberty in health next week. oh my.....
congrats on being the fb!!

Carey-Life in the Carpool Lane said...

Oh, I can imagine that is so true. With two preschoolers I'm not "there" yet...and I'm so not looking forward to it.

Makeup Theory said...

I am not having kids. I am so glad I will never have to have The Talk with my kitties. I'm not good at that stuff.

Leslie said...

Awwww, that's too sweet. Sometimes touching. Sometimes terrifying. That's what it is, parenting boys.

Mimi said...

It's so ackward, but since you're talking now, chances are that he will continue to talk to you about this stuff down the road.

Controlling My Chaos said...

I am so not looking forward to that talk.

Jen said...

Wouldn't be great if we could all just stay innocent forever.

Michelle said...

Oh, what a touching thing for him to say.

Rhonda said...

Awwww!

Monica said...

My daughter is almost 16...'nuf said. It's great that you are fostering this open dialogue. As a high school teacher, I can tell you that is the most important thing to do. But it doesn't get easier. I love his comment!

Shell said...

Eeek...the talk. I'm dreading the talk. Mine are only 5 & 7, but still...the talk is gonna happen soon enough.

(I just felt, like, three more hairs turn gray while typing this.)

Angie Marion said...

hi! Stopping by from SiTS! I have a son who's 12 and a daughter who's 14 and man I hate these ages!!! All I was told (by Catholic parents) was not to do it. Maybe that's why I was pregnant at 16?! (just a thought Mom...)

Kirsty said...

I told my 3rd grader the same after the talk, you can ask me about anything that worries or confuses you. An hour or so later he came to see me with a very worried expression and told me that he was concerned. When I asked him how, he said that he was pretty sure he would not know "how to to the sex".
Poor kid. I assured him when the time came it would all fall into place but for now that was actually a good thing ;)
They do grow up SOOO fast. :(

Laura said...

My daughter mistakenly saw a movie at her grammy's house (grammy swears she doesn't know where it came from), so it actually made the talk a little easier.

Penz said...

Its very important to have the TALK. I am very open with my kids and my son knows alot by me just telling him. I always remind him about things here and there and when we watch things on tv, we reiterate the importance of things, just to let him know.

Mammatalk said...

You're making me nervous! Maybe it'll be easier with girls? Nah!!

Michelle said...

ah! the end of innocence!

Reluctant Housewife said...

Aw. I've only read two posts about him, but he seems like such a wise little fellow.

I've really enjoyed visiting your blog!

Michelle said...

Aww, that's so sad! I'm so not ready to have The Talk. Ever. But I know I'll have to, and I can only hope that it happens in a way that is natural for both the wee ones and I.

wenderful said...

That reminds me, it's time for our middle son to have The Talk. He just turned 8. It doesn't get any easier, does it?

Playground for Parents said...

I haven't had the "deep" version of the talk yet, but I'm guessin' that once I do, there's no turning back, and it happens pretty regularly after that. Sigh.